This is an area for family,friends, and youth workers to learn what it is to self harm, how it can be prevented, and what to do if someone you know is self harming. If you don't find the information you are looking for or don't fully understand something you have seen on this site, you are free to email me with any questions you might have.
From my experience as one who has struggled with self harm, the biggest thing for loved ones of a self harmer to remember is that it isn't something we want to do, but it becomes something we need to do to cope. Self injury is not a suicide attempt, but a way (unhealthy at that) to deal with internal pain. It's hard to sit back and watch a loved one who is hurting but to treat us any differently and try to take away our one way we know how to cope without teaching us to replace it with another way will just make it worse. Yes, you have every right to be concerned if someone you love is self harming but shaming, yelling, and even ignoring isn't the best way to deal with it. We need to be loved and accepted. We need to be heard! The best thing you can do for a self harmer is to LISTEN, be available and don't judge! Let them know that you are concerned about them and available for them if they need to talk. I came across an article from "Focus on the Family" that is an excellent article that offers insight from a former self harmer on how to react and not react to best help someone who self harms. "Helping a Family Member or Friend Who Cuts"
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Special message for Friends, Youth Workers, and Family of a Girl Who Self Harms: Many girls who self injure go through life feeling abandoned and alone. The pain of that is very real. Many girls want help but are too afraid to ask. We need to break the silence about self harm and stop ignoring the issue or girls will continue to struggle with their pain in silence. If you have found this site because you are a concerned friend, youth pastor, or family member of a girl who struggles with self injury, why not invite them to join the forums? Why not join yourself? On the forums, there is a special section just for those who love and care about a girl who self harms. There you can post any questions about self harm or any encouragement you want to give a girl who self harms. There is also a section where girls who self harm speak out about what they want you to know about their struggle. So come join us and learn more about what teen girls struggle with today or support a teen girl who is struggling! |
Signs of Self Injury Here are some signs to look for, that someone you love might be self harming. I encourage you that if you see these behaviors that you respond and ask! Don't be afraid to step up. It's better for you to ask and be wrong than to not ask and not be available to help. Don't worry about not knowing exactly what to say as long as you are non-judgemental, non-accusatory, supportive, caring and open...that's what's important! Most self harmers want someone to step in and help them, they just don't know how to ask or are too ashamed or afraid to ask for help. |
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